People have been asking, why are we alive? Why are we on this world? What is our purpose for living? What is the reason why there is human life? Why is there life at all? Many have tried to answer this question, and most have failed. They expected complex answers for these questions,

but there is one simple answer. We live to experience it. We live because in our sub conscience, we wanted to know what life really is like, and we wanted to know if it would be better to be just subconsciousness, or its better to be, alive. And so, we live, only because we wanted to experience it. There is life because life itself wants to exist.

A more simple answer to the question. There is life because there just is. There is no true reason why life exists, why life flourish in the earth (even though, through the current actions of humankind, it will vanish). Life exists because it just does. If there was a reason why there is life, life would be, pointless. Yes, pointless. Because if that reason is somehow lost, then life itself would be lost.

Maybe that is why a lot of broken hearted assholes commit suicide. Its because they commit their lives to the one they love, and so, the one they love is their reason for living. And when the one they love is gone, they have no more reason to live. No more life for them. That is why, they are stupid. They are idiots who think that everything on this world of ours (once beautiful, now, like and old woman, has lost its beauty and is at the brink of death) exist for a reason.

I have to admit (I did not intend to put this here, really, but then, who the hell cares anyway) that I was one of those assholes. I have found someone to love, and made her my reason for my life to exist. Then I lost her, and my reason for life with her. I wanted to die, I wanted to leave this cruel world (and of course, that is very true. The cruel part, I mean). I wanted to just vanish. But I couldn't. I just can't. I thought, why leave this world too early? I still have time to live (if the Incas, or was it the Mayans, were right, by that time I would have 3 or 4 years left), so why end its so quickly?

Another reason, and a stupid one too, why I didn't commit suicide. I was afraid of being hurt. Stupid, isn't it?

A chapter from a child's diary
Cherry Blossom